Monday, December 28, 2015

Libido Redux: Hinder Tinder

From college campuses in Indiana to bars in New York City, men and women are using technology, Tinder, to find available partners in the vicinity, for one thing only: sex.This is the marriage apocalypse.
All of this endless swiping is producing men and women who have an infinite choices of sexual partners with no strings attached. How long before this has a serious effect on how you view members of the opposite sex?
In the past few decades, the average age of first marriage has climbed significantly — to all-time highs of almost 30 for men and 27 for women. And the marriage rates have plummeted. There were 31 marriages per 1,000 women in 2014, compared to 1920, when it was 92 per 1,000. Pope Francis would not approve.
What’s doubly depressing is that has affected the poor more than the rich. For college graduates, the rates of marriage have been almost unchanged. But among those with lower incomes, it’s plummeting, which leads to a vicious circle.
Studies repeatedly show that children born out of wedlock have worse life outcomes — with children born to single mothers more than twice as likely to be arrested for a juvenile crime and a third more likely to drop out before completing high school.
Enter the Tinder Effect. It could throw the future of marriage at all income levels into chaos.
The way it works: one could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day — the sample size is so much larger—set up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.”
It appears the formula for success that has been drummed into the heads of middle-class kids — good education, good job, marriage, kids — will not be enough to stand up to 10 years of swiping for sex.
Apps such as Tinder have brought the men’s “game” to a new level. First of all, they never have to leave their apartments, let alone spend money on a date. Now it’s just messages like “Send me nudes.” Or “I’m looking for something quick in the next 10 or 20 minutes.”
Parents who read this article may comfort themselves with the thought that their own children would not engage in this kind of depraved behavior for any length of time, that their daughters know better than to have sex with a guy they’ve never met who communicates with them entirely in emojis. That their sons have more respect for women.
But the culture matters.
And if a critical mass of women are willing to be used by hook-up culture, because that’s what all the kids are doing these days, it affects everyone’s prospects. Men too are allowed to live in a perpetual adolescence and never find out what it means to put effort into a relationship. Oremus.