The whole world,
post-Internet, did become pornographized. Young men and women are indeed being
taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by
pornographic training—and this is having a huge effect on how they interact.
But the effect is not
making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible
for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see
fewer and fewer women as “porn-worthy.” Far from having to fend off porn-crazed
young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can
scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention…. Today, real naked women are
just bad porn.
Further evidcence that Paul VI was a visionary in Humane Vitae:
SEX BEFORE KISSING: HOW 15-YEAR-OLD
GIRLS ARE DEALING WITH PORN-ADDICTED BOYS
April 1, 2016
This post comes from
an article originally posted
by Collective Shout
“[I want] better education regarding sex for
both boys and girls [and] information about pornography, and the way it
influences harmful sexual practices.”
These are the words of Lucy, aged 15, one of
600 young Australian women and girls who took part in a just-released survey commissioned
by Plan Australia and Our Watch. The survey, conducted by Ipsos, gathered
responses from the girls and young women aged 15-19 in all states and
territories.
In the survey report, entitled Don’t
send me that pic, participants reported that online sexual abuse and
harassment were becoming a normal part of their everyday interactions. And
while the behavior seemed so common, more than 80% said it was unacceptable for
boyfriends to request naked images.
Sexual bullying and harassment are part of
daily life for many girls growing up as a part of this digital generation.
Young girls are speaking out more and more about how these practices have
links with pornography—because it’s directly affecting them.
Pornography is molding and conditioning the
sexual behaviors and attitudes of boys, and girls are being left without the
resources to deal with these porn-saturated boys.
If there are still any questions about whether
porn has an impact on young people’s sexual attitudes and behaviors, perhaps
it’s time to listen to young people themselves. Girls and young women describe
boys pressuring them to provide acts inspired by the porn they consume
routinely. Girls tell of being expected to put up with things they don’t enjoy.
Some see sex only in terms of performance,
where what counts most is the boy enjoying it. I asked a 15-year-old about her
first sexual experience. She replied: “I think my body looked OK. He seemed to
enjoy it.” Many girls seem cut off from their own sense of pleasure or
intimacy. The main marker of a “good” sexual encounter is only if he enjoyed
it. Girls and young women are under a lot of pressure to give boys and men what
they want, to become a real life embodiment of what the boys have watched in
porn, adopting exaggerated roles and behaviors and providing their bodies
as mere sex aids. Growing up in today’s porn culture, girls quickly learn
that they are service stations for male gratification and pleasure.
When asked, “How do you know a guy
likes you?,” an 8th grade girl replied: “He still wants to talk to you
after you [give him oral sex].” A male high school student said to a girl: “If
you [give me oral sex] I’ll give you a kiss.” Girls are expected to
provide sex acts for tokens of affection, and are coached through it by
porn-taught boys. A 15-year-old girl said she didn’t enjoy sex at all, but that
getting it out of the way quickly was the only way her boyfriend would stop
pressuring her and watch a movie.
7th grade girls are increasingly seeking
help on what to do about requests for naked images. Receiving texts like “send
me a picture of your tits” is an almost daily occurrence for many
young girls. The girl asks: “How do I say no without hurting his feelings?”
As the Plan Australia/Our Watch
report found, girls are tired of being pressured for images they don’t
want to send, but they seem resigned to send them anyways because of how normal
the practice has become. Boys then typically use the images as a form of
currency, to swap and share with their friends. Often times boys will use the
revealing pics to humiliate girls publicly if there is a bad break up.
7th grade girls are asking questions
about bondage and S&M. Many of them have seen 50 Shades of Grey, and
wonder if a boy wants to hit me, tie me up and stalk me, does that mean he
loves me? Girls are tolerating demeaning and disrespectful behaviors, and
thereby internalizing pornography’s messages about their submissive role.
Girls describe being groped in the school
yard, and being routinely sexually harassed at school or on the school bus on
the way home. They are saying that boys act like they are entitled to girls’
bodies, like girls are only there to pleasure them. It is partially true what
defenders of porn often say, porn does provide sex education—but not in the way
they think. It teaches middle school boys that women and girls are there
for his pleasure and that they are always up for sex. To them, no just means persuade
me.
Girls describe being ranked at school on their
bodies, and are sometimes compared to the bodies of porn stars. They know they
can’t compete, but that doesn’t stop them from thinking that they have to.
Requests for genital surgery have tripled in a little over a decade among
young women aged 15-24. Girls who don’t undergo porn-inspired waxing are often
considered ugly, dirty, or gross by boys, as well as by other girls.
Some girls suffer physical injury from
porn-inspired sexual acts, including anal sex. The director of a domestic
violence centre on the Gold Coast wrote to Collective Shout about
the increase in porn-related injuries to girls aged 14 and up, from acts
including torture:
“In the past few years we have had a huge increase in intimate
partner rape of women from 14 to 80+. The biggest common denominator is
consumption of porn by the offender. With offenders not able to differentiate
between fantasy and reality, believing women are ‘up for it’ 24/7, ascribing to
the myth that ‘no means yes and yes means anal,’ oblivious to injuries caused
and never ever considering consent. We have seen a huge increase in deprivation
of liberty, physical injuries, torture, drugging, filming and sharing footage
without consent.”
The Australian Psychological Society estimates
that adolescent boys are responsible for around 20% of rapes of adult women and
between 30% and 50% of all reported sexual assaults of children. Just last
week, Emeritus Professor Freda Briggs argued
that online pornography is turning children into copycat sexual predators,
acting out on other children what they are seeing in porn.
A 2012 review of research on “The Impact of Internet Pornography
on Adolescents” found that adolescent consumption of internet
porn was linked to attitudinal changes, including acceptance of male dominance
and female submission as the primary sexual paradigm, with women viewed as
“sexual playthings eager to fulfill male sexual desires.” The authors found
that “adolescents who are intentionally exposed to violent sexually explicit
material were six times more likely to be sexually aggressive than those who
were not exposed.”
The proliferation and globalization of
hypersexualized imagery and pornographic themes makes healthy sexual
exploration almost impossible. Sexual conquest and domination are untempered by
the bounds of respect, intimacy and authentic human connection. Young people
are not learning about intimacy, friendship and love, but about cruelty and
humiliation. As a recent study found:
“Online mainstream pornography overwhelmingly centered on acts
of violence and degradation toward women, the sexual behaviors exemplified in
pornography skew away from intimacy and tenderness and typify patriarchal
constructions of masculinity and femininity.”
It is intimacy and tenderness that so many
girls and young women say they are looking for. But how will young women find
these sensual, slow-burn experiences in men indoctrinated by pornography? Psychologist Philip Zimbardo says
of young men: “They don’t know the language of face to face contact … Constant
arousal, change, novelty excitement makes them out of sync with slow developing
relationships – relationships which build slowly.”
Most importantly, it’s young people themselves
demanding change. Josie, 18, is quoted in the Plan Australia/Our Watch report:
“We need some sort of crack down on the violent pornography that
is currently accessible to boys and men. This violent pornography should be
illegal to make or view in Australia as we clearly have a problem with violence
and boys are watching a lot of pornography which can be very violent … This is
influencing men’s attitude towards women and what they think is acceptable.
Violent pornography is infiltrating Australian relationships.”
Girls like Lucy and Josie deserve our
response. It is wrong to leave sexual formation in the hands of the global sex
industry. We need to do more to help young people stand up against warped
notions of sexuality conveyed in pornography.
Fight the New Drug is all about pro-love
and pro-healthy sexuality. That is why we are anti-porn. Porn is full of ideals and
beliefs that are completely opposite of what real relationships, real sex, and
real love are like. Healthy relationships are built on equality, honesty,
respect, and love. But in porn, it’s the reverse; interactions are based on
domination, disrespect, abuse, violence, and detachment. Our generation is the first to
deal with the issue of pornography to this intensity and scale. And, as we’ve
seen with today’s society, if we don’t take a stand, the problem is only
going to get worse and worse. By being informed and understanding porn’s
harmful effects, we can make a much needed change to our perceptions about
love, sex, and relationships.
What YOU Can Do
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